Darkness within me
by Joou
Summary: Yukimi is stuck with a Kira user? Why does everything seem to happen to him? or... this Kira user might be more interesting then he thinks... “I have had dreams...” Yukimi begun. “...about Yoite...” boyxboy YukimixYoite RaikoxGau
1. Yukimi

**Hi this is my forst FF so be kind ne? ;P It is in fact about Kazuhiko Yukimi and Yoite and how they first met. Yes there might be some shounen ai/yaoi in this one ;) I hope you'll like those parts. However there is a lot about Yukimi in the first chappie and I hope that won't ware you out to much x3 It's also about Raiko and his little love two ;)  
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**Please enjoy and review if you like what you see :D **

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The room hit him with silent darkness as the young novelist entered, feeling the prickles rise on the back of his neck even though he knew the darkness in there would not hurt him. He walked further inside, softly touching the wall with his smooth fingertips, looking in blind calmness for the switch in order to turn the lights on. However, failing in his attempt to do so, even though this room was ever so familiar to him, Yukimi walked over to the window instead, pushing the thick curtains away, allowing the pale moonlight fall upon his facials with its cold glow. There was a silence in the moon that calmed his busy mind like nothing else could, those nights of tiresome work-hours, and even though the light from the white orb was not strong enough to guide him through the apartment, he was content with it.

Under the eyes of the pure moon he was safe from watchers and spies, he thought, sinking down on the couch with no intention to get going with his work for at least another hour or two. Looking over at the computer he sighed, feeling his stomach ache a little. Even though he had been so passionate about his writing when being younger, all his work concerning the Kairoushuu had made the young writer tired with fiction and adventures. Even though he had chosen this path in front of his passion he now regretted it from time to time... He had wished for a long time now to have just a little peace in his life, just a while to relax from all the brutal fighting and killing. But alas, even this calm and peaceful night was deceiving and would not be to his luck.

He was slowly drifting into the state where you are awake but already starting to sleep somewhat when the telephone suddenly rang, its cold, harsh sound making him jump with his heart in his chest and cold panic rushing through his body, even though his pride would never admit it. Growling with irritation he reached over to the phone and pulled it of its bed, lifting it to his ear an a sleepy motion.

"Yeah hello?" came his voice, sounding more like an insult than a grating. He had not had the time to check who it was and he quietly told himself that if this was someone calling him to make fun of him, he would make sure to kill that person personally, asap.

"Well hello there, Yukimi-kun" the other voice answered him, sounding like a man who had been smoking his entire life with a lot of alcohol and late nights out, though Yukimi knew that was not the case. He sat up straight in the sofa, feeling the little hairs in the back of his neck stand up once again as he realized in that moment of terror who this late night caller was.

"Hattori-san" he said in terror and slight confusion, though he tried his best to hide it. What reason did the "all high and mighty" Toujuurou Hattori have to be calling him this late? Yukimi knew by heart that the older man was not a fan of small talk, especially not with him of all people. The young writer could not hide the surprise in his voice as he continued. "Why are you calling me at this hour...?" the after a short pause he corrected himself. "...sir?"

The man on the other side of the line fell quiet, as if Yukimi had said something wrong and at that moment the blond, spiky haired man cursed himself and his foolish mouth for not thinking before speaking. However, Hattori's silence seemed not to have been planned as he finally spoke again.

"There is only one thing about the reason you need to know, Kazuhiko Yukimi-kun" he said with his low voice, filling Yukimi with even more remorse over his foolish lack of self-control, if that was even possible. "...and that is whether or not the circumstances involve you..."

Yukimi, who was now pacing the room in complete darkness, thought it quite strange what Hattori had just said. Of course the "circumstances" involved him, otherwise he would never have been called at three in the morning on a Wednesday night. His pride and fear of this man however did not let him ask his boss that question, no matter how much he wanted to. He knew he was going to be told any way and besides, he was trying to learn how to keep his words and emotions hidden and this was a good opportunity to see how far he had gotten. The older man was quiet once again before speaking, now in a much warmer voice, almost like a father talking to his son. That thought sounded almost amusing to the young writer, even though there was nothing amusing about this situation whatsoever.

"Yukimi-kun..." the man said and Yukimi listened carefully, scared he might miss some important information again and mess up, he had no space left to mess up on any more, he had to be better and prove to Hattori that he could. "Do you remember when I told you about the Kira user I was in contact with quite some time ago?"

"Yes, of course I do" Yukimi said, feeling a certain discomfort by the mentioning of that dreaded power. He remembered clearly the first time he had been told that a Kira user was going to be fighting alongside the Kairoushuu. He had felt sick only by the thought of all the suffering it would cause for everyone involved. Now those words sounded ever so threatening to his ears and he dreaded the fact that this actually had something to do with him after all.

"Well, Yukimi-kun" Hattori continued, sounding now like a man in a hurry, wanting this phone call to be over as soon as possible so that Yukimi would not have the time to argue. "It seems the Kira user has nowhere to stay for the moment..." Yukimi fought the urge to just hang up and walk out of there, never to return, but he knew he would certainly be eliminated if he did. Instead he kept on listening even though he dreaded even more what was coming. "..so I just told you that tomorrow you will be bringing him home with you."

Yukimi could not hide his gasp as he heard those words. He was not surprised and he knew he could not refuse this order but he could not escape the fact that he did not want to. Hattori was not a man of justice and Yukimi knew that, however, now realizing what a stupid brat he had been, somehow he had come to believe that he was special. That to Hattori he wasn't just a toy soldier, and that Hattori, because of that, would not give him jobs like this one. Sure, it was a big and important job to let the Kira user into one's home and "take care" of him. But it was foolishly dangerous and he felt the irritation bubble inside him against Hattori that was now willing to risk his life for the well-being of some lowlife Kira user.

"Do you have any objections Yukimi-kun?" the old man asked, sending shivers of discomfort down the blond man's spine. He knew very well that he had nothing to say in protest of this matter. He was a toy soldier, even though he had been denying it, a ninja paid to kill on command, paid to follow orders blindly and this was no exception. He sighed, quietly so that his boss would not hear him even though he was breaking inside. He hadn't the strength to keep on at this rate, and still he had to, otherwise this man would make him suffer in the most brutal way imaginable.

"Of course not, Hattori-san… he said even though he could not hide his distress. The older man smirked clearly and Yukimi felt his heart sink even further as he thought about the awaiting danger coming to live in his apartment so close upon his life. This was the worst of the worst… seriously.

"That's good, Yukimi-kun" the man said ever so fatherly, but Yukimi did not smile this time. "Then, I will see you tomorrow…" The man said with that cold "goodbye" of his and hung up, leaving his young toy in silence with a trembling heart and confused mind. He didn't want to do this, even though he wasn't afraid of dying he did not want to host something as dreadful as a Kira user. He sat there, looking out at his dark apartment, wondering slightly where this new person would stay. On the couch where he was now seated or somewhere on the floor..? He looked at the door realizing now that he would always have to be scared now when he came home, always on his guard so that he would not be killed in an instant as he entered. There would be no more quiet evenings and nights, bathing in the moonlight, no more sleeping soundly on the sofa or sitting by the computer writing stories that he loved, as he realized now that he actually still did. He looked over at the computer instead but couldn't even walk over there and write now for the last time, the thought hurt him even, knowing that this was the end of his life as he knew it.

Yukimi sighed, feeling his temples pound harder than he thought possible. Slowly he got up and walked out into the small kitchen, putting some water to warm in the kettle. He seriously needed to calm his mind before going back to his work. If he would have no time to work for a while after this it was time to work harder than ever now, even though he was already tired. He needed to get at least five chapters done from now until morning, so that he wouldn't need to worry**… **_'Jeez…'_ he thought as he stirred the hot lemonade he had made for himself. _'…just a little peace… that was all I was asking for. But guess I'm not made for praying.'_ He smirked to himself, somewhat happy for his own irony, then he went with heavy steps into the living room, turning the computer on and sitting down heavily, taking a little sip from the cup, then cursing as the hot liquid burned his tongue. "Great" he burst out and felt a slight rage grip his heart. He should have left Kairoushuu long ago, while he still could.

***

The morning had begun far worse than he would ever have imagined. First he had woken up at the desk, realizing he had fallen asleep long before completing the five chapters as he had wanted and planed. All night he had been sleeping with his head resting against the keyboard which had caused the letters "m" and "q" to be repeated over and over for several pages of his document. After angrily deleting all the worthless letters he went up and into the kitchen only to find the dishes unwashed and that he was out of lemon, lemonade being the only thing he ever felt like drinking nowadays. Quickly washing the dishes and boiling some water, he then suddenly realized he had overslept for almost an hour and if he wasn't at work within thirty minutes he would be in big, if not to say, enormous trouble! He rushed through the apartment, getting dressed in rapid speed, pulling his bandana over the blond, spiky locks, swallowing some toothpaste when in no time of brushing his teeth.

In ten minutes he was out the apartment and inside the love of his life, his dark green little car. But not even she could cheer him up as he saw she was out of fuel. Sighing he patted the steering wheel, thinking that he would have to stop for gas on his way home. Not until that moment it hit him painfully in the gut... He wasn't going to be coming home alone that night. That person... no, that lowlife Kira user would be sharing his car, his air and his home. Why the hell had he forgotten about that? How was that even possible to forget?! He sighed once again and buried his face in his palm for a short while before forcing himself to drive of in his little car towards the awful building where he came every day...

'Fuck' he thought as he pulled into the parking lot, cursing all his way up in the elevator. 'Why the fuck do I have to put up with some dominant Kira user that would probably have worse temper than my sister on her red week, and he'll probably wanna ruin my life as well!' Yukimi was so distracted, even being a ninja, that he didn't notice the shadow following. As he turned the corner someone suddenly grabbed his waist from behind and pulled him into a smaller room to the left. Yukimi gasped in surprise, unable to fight back as he was not at all prepared for the sudden shift in motion and the firm body pressed against his own.

"What?!" he called out as he stumbled into the small room the proved to be a broom closet of some sort. Furiously he turned around, feeling the hands still lingering around his slimmed waist, waiting to see someone he hated, but only to be met by cherry blossom-pink hair, long, dark lashes and those smirking chocolate brown eyes. "Raikou!?"

The pink haired man chuckled and then smiled sweetly like he always did towards him, lying one soft, womanlike hand oh Yukimi's shoulder. "Yukimi" he said with the same gentle smile as before. "...you have to start behaving more like a ninja so that you don't get killed now that you'll be hosting the Kira user." Yukimi could literally feel how the blood rushed to his cheeks as he blushed with anger. Raikou always said things like that and even though Yukimi knew he just wanted to be nice and show how he cared, Yukimi could not really understand why he always had to be so "on top" all the time.

"How did you know?" he asked, trying to hide the fact that he just wanted to jump on the sweet man for his comment. The peach haired one just kept on smiling like he had not seen the death glare he had been given by the blond man.

"Hattori-dono called me yesterday" Raikou answered. "He wanted me to make sure you were here today, since you are so important in this and all.." The young samurai looked truly worried now even though he was trying to hide it behind his smile. Yukimi bit his lip at that, he had worried Raikou many times and maybe now it was gong to be even harder on him. Still Yukimi couldn't control the anger within him now as he heard those words. Even though he knew Raikou had nothing to do with him being stuck with a crazy killer, he knew that if Raikou said even one other word concerning that lowlife he would kick his ass! And why had Hattori doubted him? That was absurd! He had always been faithful even when he had not wanted it, like in this case. And now when he was about to take care of the most "precious" weapon of them all, Hattori had started to doubt him all of a sudden?! Well then, why not ask Raikou from the beginning since he seemed to be the one Hattori had called to babysit him! Suddenly he realized Raikou had bit his lip in worry and he stopped thinking at once, understanding that it all had shown on his face.

"What?" he said, feeling his irritation grow, he knew he was already running late and being even more late was at the same level as one of the seven deadly sins. Raikou sighed and shook that head with his ever so soft smile playing on his lips.

"You think too much, Yukimi" he said and agreed with himself by nodding. "He merely called me to tell that the Kira was coming today and that we all should be prepared... and that you were going to host him, and because of the fact that I was worried over that fact he, well he said that I cold help you if I wanted to" Yukimi raised an eyebrow, questioning him with every muscle of his body, but Raikou only smiled. "I pulled you in here to see if you, yourself were okay with it, you know otherwise I could always..."

"I'm fine with it, Raikou" came the answer from his mouth even though that was not the desperate answer he had wanted to burst out. He didn't know why, his voice had sounded harsh and to his own surprise he had pushed the other man's hands away, already opening the door out to the corridor again. "I'll be fine... I don't need your help" He left his friend in the little room, knowing that he had hurt him with his angry voice. But he was running late and he had realized from now on he really needed to prove to everyone that he wasn't just a loud punk, but a ninja who knew his place and knew when to follow orders. But it was with his head lowered, however, when he went through the long corridor towards his awaiting doom. 'I'm sorry, Raikou...'

***

The day was awful and boring like always, with only paperwork to be done and since he had no wish to go home, knowing that the sooner he entered Hattori's office, the sooner he would get stuck with the vermin and that was not his greatest wish right now, so instead he sat there quietly with no complaints over his load of work. He hated how people came and went again outside his door but soon he began to realize that if he wouldn't go himself, someone would come for him eventually and since the time now showed five... well, it was time after all. So it was with a heavy heart that he stood up from the chair he had been spending his entire day in, stretching like a tired cat after a nice days sleep, however there had been no sleep for him that day. He left the room slowly, realizing the corridor outside was dark even though the time showed only ten past, and he wondered silently why this was. Maybe more people knew about the Kira user..? Or was it this uneasy feeling the Kira user brought that made people want to leave earlier since they couldn't have any idea... they hardly knew what the Kairoushuu were. He shook his head at the thought of them knowing, of course not. The thought was absurd. Even so, that thought occupied him all the way to Hattori's office and well, it wasn't until he was standing right outside that he felt his stomach curl into a knot again, was he scared? No way!

"Hattori-san?" he called as he gave the door three hard knocks, even though he really did not want this to keep happening. He heard that low voice call him to come inside and he felt the chills on the back of his neck again. He really didn't want to! Why had he told Raikou that everything was okay? It wasn't! Now he had to put up with this scum and...! Shaking his head fast again he pushed the thoughts aside and sighed to calm his nerves. He would have to show this pushover who was boss and that was it! Kira or not, they were both on the same side in this and he would not let any one push him around, well maybe except Raikou.

The door swung open and the dim light from the one lamp made it instantly difficult for him to see, since he was so used to sitting in front of the computer. Yukimi blinked and took some steps further into the room, seeing how Hattori was watching him but as he looked around he couldn't see any trace of the Kira, nor of any one else. He wrinkled his eyebrow in a questioning way towards his boss and the older man smirked, placing his hands on his back, still watching him in his always so calm way, that way that made even Yukimi feel uneasy.

"I'm so glad you are here, Yukimi-kun" the older man said and walked around his desk to great him, the young writer feeling that he shouldn't be thankful for not seeing the Kira around, he was there somewhere and all to soon they would met and there would be no going back. Yukimi only nodded and looked around again which made Hattori smirk again. "Are you looking for your new roommate?" he said but Yukimi still didn't talk, just met his gaze with his dark blue eyes. "There is something I need to tell you about him first..."

"Yeah, and what's that?" Yukimi spat, knowing how angry he sounded but he didn't care. These were his nerves that were showing and he needed to let them out before he met that "man" so that he wouldn't make a fool of himself. Hattori did not seem to take it in a bad way however, he knew his young ninja by now and he knew exactly why this was happening so he took it calmly.

"You need to know, Yukimi-kun..." the man said and came closer. "..that he is more vulnerable then you might think of a Kira user... you see his powers are not fully developed yet and, well..." The man met his eyes with an intense gaze and Yukimi, who had been on his way to say something grew quiet once again. "...lets just say he is in great need of a male role model to watch over him for a while now..."

"With all due respect Hattori-san" Yukimi said, unable to keep his smirk hidden any longer now that some of his nerves had let go. "You make him sound like a kid..."

***

Yukimi stood waiting in the corridor, two stories down in the building. Hattori had gone a while ago to fetch the "kid" and even though Yukimi was still mad about the whole thing he had actually started wondering what kind of person this Kira-user was. Hattori had sounded like he was talking about a little child and Raikou, well Raikou had not said anything to him the entire day since that time in the broom closet, but there was something that he had seen in those chocolate brown eyes of his when he was talking about the Kira... did he know something..? If that was the case, then what...?

He heard sound of approaching steps and looked up, cursing at himself for starting to think optimistic and wanting to know. What had gotten into him?! Not like he wanted this person in his life.. he had to, yes but still... Why was he so... anticipating?

The older man came around the corner and first Yukimi was sure there would be someone walking beside him but he was mistaken, instead there was someone walking behind the old geezer... Dressed in black clothes, a tan-coloured Gatsby cap, and with his amazing lagoon blue eyes fixed on the floor but visible so that Yukimi could see them; there was a raven haired boy walking in the shadow of Hattori's bog frame, he did not look old at all, and Yukimi immediately felt all the fear and anger wash right of him as the boy slowly looked up, catching Yukimi's eyes with his intense ones. It was as if those eyes saw right through him and Yukimi could feel, even though this was just a boy, that the blood was rushing feverishly to his cheeks from under that gaze. This boy was so different... so incredibly different...

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**well what do you think? :P I really hope you like it and that you want the rest XD I know this was not much love but you'll get it in next chapie XD it was supposed to be a oneshot nut it got a bit to long ^^' so please review :D and I'll put up next one! :D**


	2. Yoite

**yay back with another chappie! :D in this one you get to know more about a lot of things XD and I wanna tell you that most of the dialogue is from the actual anime! I've just re-written it some what and put out Yukimis thoughts behind his words ^^ And no I didn't copy it all and I wasn't lazy it actually took me hours to figure it all out! so enjoy!**

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"So what is your name, kid?" Yukimi asked, his mind blurred with questions as he and the raven-haired boy were finally seated in the little car, already driving towards the gas station. The boy did not answer and it didn't really surprise him since the young one hadn't said a word from the very start. Hattori hadn't said anything ether, just introduced the boy to Yukimi then left them there in the corridor. Yukimi had now started to wonder what was wrong with this one. Who in hell would throw his life away, willingly, at that young age?! Sure he himself was a ninja who would risk his life in battle but this boy… he wasn't even old enough to have sex yet, right?!

That thought aggravated the young writer even more, what did that have to do with anything? The only thing that mattered was the fact that this boy had not said a word, was really not old enough to sacrifice his life like this and… Yukimi sighed. He was going to share his apartment from now on. He looked at the boy as he parked the car nicely at the station, looking at the little body, his lagoon blue eyes and the obsidian locks draping his face in dark shadows. He was a good looking boy, Yukimi thought, wanting to say something nice to get the little one to smile. What had this boy been through to make him want to sacrifice himself..? Yukimi did not want to care; he knew Kira users were doomed to a short and painful life, but this boy… he looked so innocent and so pure, sitting there with his eyes fixed on his hands, biting his lip, even? It sure looked like it and Yukimi smiled, pulling out his wallet.

"Do you want something from the store?" He asked, not looking at the boy but seeing in the corner of his eye that the boy looked up a little, reacting to the word "store" he assumed. "I mean..." he continued. "I'm going inside to pay anyways, would you like some candy?" The boy looked at him though Yukimi pretended not to notice, opening the door, thinking that he might as well buy something so that the boy could eat if he wanted later. Before leaving the car however he could see how the little one nodded vaguely and a slight smirk spread over his face. He wasn't deaf after all.

He walked over the rocky ground, throwing a coin at the boy who was dealing with the gas, then looked back at the car, seeing how the little, dark-haired boy had pulled his knees up against his chest and Yukimi felt a pull somewhere under his bellybutton. He turned back toward the shop and shook his head. The ride here had only made him concerned about this boy… and what was it that Hattori had meant when he said "his powers are not fully developed yet"? That kid wasn't even fully developed yet! Did his powers have to grow too? That was insane… Yukimi felt he somehow wanted to help, no matter how much he had hated the thought of the Kira before. If Hattori had just told him sooner that he would be hosting a little kid…

"Thank you mister, come again!" the girl behind the counter called and flashed him a smile, but even though he would have been quite into a girl like her, with her beautiful body and flawless skin he did not even give her a thought, no matter how much she smiled. Instead he just mumbled something like a "thank you" back to her, making her grumpy but he couldn't care less. He just wanted to get back to that unfortunate child in his care. _'My car! Not my care!_' he corrected himself. Man, he was already getting dragged in too deep.

To his slight relief the boy was sleeping soundly when he came back, resting his beautiful head against the cool window to his right. Yukimi smiled and sat down softly not to wake the sleeping angel, forgetting for a second that this child was as far from an angel as it could get. He had been sleepy, he calculated as he started driving back home, trying to drive as smoothly as possible to not disturb the little one in his sleep. Maybe he would be more forward after a little rest; be like all other kids his age, loud and stupid. Yukimi had found the boy's silence disturbing in a way he had never felt before. It was like the raven haired boy wanted to tell him something but the words didn't come out and it made Yukimi just want do grab him and hold him tight until he had the power to speak again. This thought just made him confused however, why the hell would he want to do that?

***

The stairs were heavy to walk,carrying the sleeping boy in his arms, but since the little one wasn't at all heavy Yukimi didn't complain. It was better that he slept than be awake and all quiet. It gave Yukimi the chills just by thinking of it; that silence.

As he reached the door it suddenly swung opened and the blond man took some steps back in confusion, hoping in that moment that he could silence the person rushing out before the boy woke, pressing the sleeping one to his chest. He saw blonde hair and a tiny body came out as if shot from a canon. "Brother!" She called and he stared as his sister was about to flung herself at him, stepping aside so she would miss and when she suddenly saw the kid she stopped abruptly. "Who is that? Don't tell me... he's yours?"

"Of course he isn't mine!" he burst out even though he knew that it wasn't that obvious to her since she had no idea about what Hattori had called him about the other day. She knew that he had been with women of course, so... well maybe the thought wasn't so badly guessed considering the circumstances.

"Then who..?" She said, raising an eyebrow from under her glasses, crossing her arms over her slim waist and chest. "Some stray cat you picked up on the street, maybe?" Yukimi snort and walked past her without another word, into the apartment and straight to the sofa, softly putting the little boy down, feeling his soft locks brush his cheek and the small arms still gripping onto him even though Yukimi had let him go. He sighed and loosened the little one's arms from around his neck, letting them fall back on the sofa before walking into the kitchen without another glance at him.

"Did you buy lemons?" he asked as if she had never even asked him anything and as if there was absolutely nothing strange about him coming home with a child in his arms, and dumping him on the couch with no explanation. Kazuho sighed and watched his back, then let her eyes wonder to the child, seeing him he curled into a human ball before her eyes. Yukimi made lemonade in silence, thinking of what to say. He had not heard any name and had no idea how to explain this to his little sister. After some minutes of thinking he walked back to her scratching his neck.

"Then who?" the blond woman repeated and he sighed as well, grinning with uneasiness.

"The Kira user.."

As expected she gasped and put her delicate hands over her mouth, looking from her brother to the little one sleeping on the sofa. She knew perfectly well what that was , and she knew they had someone like him on their side but... a child? She looked at her brother again with doubt in her eyes and Yukimi couldn't judge her. Of course she didn't believe him, he hardly believed it himself.

His sister didn't take the news that well, she was so shocked she had to go for a walk to the supermarket and Yukimi didn't stop her. He knew she'd be back for dinner and now that the kid was sleeping he might as well get beck to the work he had left unfinished night before. He sat down in his chair, his back turned to the boy and started typing. There was a lot he needed to write and it would probably take at least the whole night if he was going to meet his deadlines. After a little while he heard soft movements behind him and he knew the kid had woken up, however he was too involved in his work to really bother saying anything. He saw in the reflection of the big windows how the boy had crawled down on the floor and now pulled his knees back up against his chest, watching the floor, ever so silent. _'This kid is really a Kira..?' _he thought, even though he tried to stay focused on the novel._ 'Why on earth?'_

He turned his face just a little towards the boy, realizing that even though the temperature inside was pretty hot, the little one had not even taken his cap off. Yukimi sighed once again and shook his head. "Why do I have to take care of this brat?" he said out loud, not really knowing if that was the plan but since the kid did not seem to listen he continued anyway. What use was it thinking when you could speak and somehow, maybe, reach the person you were trying to get in contact with. "As a Kira user you'll be very useful in battle... You'd better contribute more" When the boy didn't answer to this either, just kept his head lowered into his knees, Yukimi turned the whole way, starting to wonder if this was how it felt to have a teenager? "By the way, what's your name?"

There was a slam in the door as his sister came back home and still the boy did not move or make a sound. Yukimi started to once again question whether the raven haired child wasn't deaf after all. Kazuho seemed better now, considering that she had been out in the rain for almost an hour. Yukimi cursed silently as he realized he wouldn't be able to work much more but what could he do..? As dinner was ready he quietly left a plate in front of the still boy, grumbling something about it being "necessary" to eat... the little one didn't even look up.

***

The days passed and each time Yukimi came home from work he found the nameless boy still sitting on the sofa where he had left him hours earlier. He always sighed, calling "I'm back" into the apartment even though he knew he would never get an answer. It was almost like coming home to it empty, though you could feel the boys presence, which was creepy, though Yukimi would never admit it. This day, however, it was a different feeling that met him as he walked through the door and even before he had had the time to announce he was home there was something in the air that told him something was not right. He slowly removed his shoes, listening intently for any strange sound, then just as slowly he moved the doors and walked into the living room, he found the boy sitting on his knees, panting heavily in agony on the floor. "The consequences of learning Kira are that the body's circulatory system becomes a mess. The bones stretch; the ligaments and tendons rupture; cells become really active... " That was what he had heard from Hattori, and that was exactly what he saw happening there on his living room floor.

Yukimi closed his eyes, feeling his heart ache to help the boy, but he knew this was the time when he shouldn't do anything at all. In this state the Kira was really fragile and could snap even towards someone he knew, not that they really knew each other, but... Yukimi kept his distance, turning the TV on so that he wouldn't have to hear the moans of pain coming from deep within that poor child. Oh God why did he get involved with this? He was only a boy!

"It...hurts.." The boy panted, sending shivers down Yukimi's spine at the mere thought of it. The pain was so obvious in the little one's voice it was almost torture to hear but Yukimi swallowed, knowing that there was nothing he could do to ease his pain, and calming himself with the thought that Kira users are short lived and the boy would soon be out of his misery, not that it was a pleasant thought either...

But suddenly he heard the sound of a body hitting wood and he gave up, quickly turning to face his roommate only to find him in a limp pile on the floor. Cursing at himself for letting himself get involved he rushed over to him, wrapping his arms around the cold body, carrying him over to the sofa again. He heard in the back of his mind that his sister had come home but he didn't care, he just wrapped a blanket around the boy to keep him warm, then stared at him with his now moss green eyes. In just the matter of minutes this boy had grown into the size of a young man...

Kazuho and Yukimi sat on the floor before the couch, just watching the boy for hours. The shock was visible in her eyes and even though Yukimi hated the thought of being a softie he gently pulled his harm around her waist and hugged her tightly, feeling her shoulders shaking slightly against his chest. She was a doctor and he was quite sure that she had never in her career seen anything like this.

"Kazuho.." he whispered and smiled a little down at her. "It will be over soon... we'll take care of him." But alas, the pain was not over and for the next three days and three nights the boy screamed in cramps and pain so horrible even Yukimi couldn't find any rest. Kazuho however tried her best to be nice to the newcomer, and since the kid had grown so much in such a small amount of time she made him as much food as he could eat just to get him back up on his feet.

More days passed and even though the pain seemed to have ceased the young man now sitting in front of Yukimi had not yet said a word to any of them. Sure he had been crying out in pain but that was not really the same thing as talking, at least not according to Yukimi's standards. Long, obsidian locks slowly fell to the cluttered floor as he let the scissors cut through the young one's hair, softly stroking it with his fingertips as he went, maybe to calm him down, though the boy was already as calm as he could ever get. Yukimi sighed and nodded in approval at his own creation. It suited the raven haired one well and since he wasn't complaining, Yukimi didn't either. However he had been wondering for some time now about what to call this boy... What if he needed to call for help some time and didn't even know the name of his "friend". So softly, he began speaking again, which he realized he hadn't done in quite some time now.

"I don't know if it's because you have no name or don't wish to say it, but it's inconvenient for someone not to have a name." To his mild astonishment the young man slowly reached for his hair, taking it between his fingers, admiring the feel of the newly cut hair falling easily between them. Yukimi was struck dumb for a moment by this sight, not even able to close his mouth, just standing there like a fish out of water before snapping back to his "true" self again. Quickly he turned away from the young man, not wanting to get caught again as he felt a familiar urge grow inside him.

He walked over to the window, knowing he would be able to see the boys reflection in the glass if he wanted to, which he did, right? "What's a good name...?" he mumbled, looking out over the dark streets below, trying to focus on something else than the beauty behind him. Firing off some names he scratched his chin, secretly gazing at the dark one that had now sat himself down on the sofa again, his legs against his chest like always, looking so sad Yukimi was almost sure he could see a dark cloud hovering above his head. "Tetsuo... Kasabudo... Kirasuke..." He shook his head. He was lousy at these sort of things, that was why he hadn't planned to get a "baby" in the first place. Slowly he walked over to the other window, watching the lights from the building at the other side of the street. "The wind of the dusk... Yoite..."

With a soft movement, so small Yukimi did not notice it, the boy moved his chin up at the sound of that name, not quite meeting his eyes but... Yukimi, however kept on talking like nothing of course, being unable to keep quiet for more than a couple seconds if he wasn't working. "Ah, but that name is weird... However you say it, using a cat's name-"

"Yoi...te..."

Yukimi looked up, feeling his eyes widen as he saw that name form on the lips of that sweet faced man. The boy's eyes were not lifeless like they had been a moment ago, his soft hand was softly caressing his cheekbone and Yukimi saw with astonishment how he finally looked up to met his eyes. His smooth voice almost whispering: "Yoite"

***

"Yoite, I'm home" he called and slammed the door, maybe a bit too hard but he didn't really care, his day had been awful, too much work to do, too many hours of "labor" , and his sister nagging all day long about him not forgetting he had to bring Yoite more painkillers. Like he could ever forget! Not a day went by without Yukimi thinking about the pain that man was in! Not a day went by when he didn't wish he could just erase all that agony and help him out of his misery, but he knew he couldn't. Even Yoite himself had made that very clear for him. There was no answer coming from the living room and Yukimi sighed, thinking that stray cat had wondered of somewhere again, after all, he wasn't supposed to be a prisoner but it was always Yukimi who got to take the crap if something happened. "Yoite?" Still no answer. Damn it.

A period of roughly two months had passed since the day Yoite had come to live with him and by now the boy had become something of his daily life. He knew the kid would be there when he woke up, when he went to work and when he came home. He had grown accustomed to having Kazuho over nearly every day to cook something for their hungry cat, which also meant Yukimi didn't have to make any food, giving him more time to write.. But lately Yoite had started walking out on them, off to God only knows where, and it had started to worry them both. Kazuho showed it like she always did when she was worried about something. Yukimi, instead, pretended everything was okay, brushing the worry off as if it was nothing, just cursing quietly when Yoite finally came home all exhausted.

But inside he was probably more worried than his sister would ever be. She had become Yoite's private doctor, something Hattori had arranged as Yoite had finally become a realized member of the Kairoushuu, and she always saw his marks and his pain. But Yukimi saw him all the time, sitting there on the floor, hugging his knees and hiding his features from the world like it wanted to hurt him. Yukimi had the feeling Yoite felt his time slipping through his fingers... and he was actually scared now that the boy would leave or do something stupid.

Now seeing that the young man had left his lunch on the counter again, Yukimi felt his soul sink inside his chest. If the boy stopped eating- eating being the only thing he actually seemed to enjoy doing, then what would become of him? He could hardly fight any longer, he didn't talk as much as he actually had done in the beginning, but then only when being alone with Yukimi of course, he didn't eat and he spent most of his time somewhere else, doing something Yukimi had no knowledge of. It not only scared him, it actually made him a bit angry with himself. He shouldn't have let that cat run off, not again.

Shaking all the worry, the anger and the tiredness away he sat himself down in front of his ever so used computer and started writing almost immediately, still loving the feel of those small white squares underneath his fingertips. He fell into that sort of trance he was always when he started a new project, and he was almost so oblivious to everything else he hardly heard the door close and the familiar, tapping steps against the wooden floor. However as Yoite passed him he rested his fingers, speaking calmly as if nothing had happened, just as he always did. "Welcome back."

He didn't wait for an answer, knowing that even though the boy had stopped moving behind him he wouldn't say anything. "Well, I'm not going to ask you where you went. It's okay as long as you didn't kill the little devil." Yoite didn't answer this either, instead he turned his gaze away (Yukimi could tell from the reflection on the computer screen) and walked to sit in front of the bright window with his knees up as always. Yukimi stopped typing once again, feeling panic rush through his mind. "Hey, you didn't kill him did you? Please spare me that..."

"I didn't" was the only reply he got from those sweet lips and Yukimi pushed a displeased grumble down to the bottom of his stomach. Yoite had been so cold lately he could almost feel the room growing darker, even though he knew that was impossible since it was in the middle of sumer with no clouds on the sky.

"That's fine, then" He said, unable to keep the irritation away from his voice, and just to kind of scare the brat he added. "To tell you the truth, the boss told me to look for you... I wish I hadn't gotten carried away and stopped by five stores. Now I won't feel like eating ramen for a while.." feeling victorious, he smirked, knowing that by now the boy had started to feel guilt even though it was hard to tell. But Yukimi had seen just now how the young one had started hugging his knees tighter. Success!

"Yukimi"

He started typing again, pretending for a few seconds that he hadn't heard, then felt that pulling feeling in his gut again and regretted somewhat that he had even said it. "What?" he asked back, not harsh, more like a man occupied with his work, even though he was listening intently, recognizing the sadness in Yoite's voice.

"Am I... alive?"

"Of course" Yukimi answered and looked up, letting his fingers rest in midair as he looked over at the raven haired young man he had cherished all this time, realizing this was something out of the ordinary when it came to Yoite. Maybe he should listen more.

"But.. no one is aware that I'm alive." Yoite said, burying his head in his knees, and tightening his grip around them. The pull on Yukimi's heart grew; he just wanted to walk over there and embrace him, tell him everything was going to be alright, even though it'd be a lie. But instead he stood up, plucking the two cups off the coffee table and filling them with hot water before talking.

"Am I not aware of it?" The boy grew silent again and he sighed, making the hot lemonade just like he always did, but pouring one cup for Yoite as well, stirring down the lemon with a spoon. "You're alive alright, since you are right there, breathing" he had hesitated on that last part, wanting to say so much more but he couldn't allow himself to do so, instead he kept stirring slowly.

"Does being alive mean that you get involved with others, or do something for them..? If not...Why does every one keep getting involved with others?"

The question came as a slight surprise to Yukimi. One, because it was so long and full of words, and two, Yoite wasn't the best at conversing with strangers or even others inside the Kairoushuu. He smiled a little at this, thinking that maybe the kid wasn't as thick headed as he seemed. "In the end, people can't survive without doing so. That's how it is"

"I can't do anything other than wound others... so I'm definitely not alive." Yoite sighed as he took off his Gatsby cap. Yukimi shook his head behind the boy's back, walking over to him with the lemonade in his hands. Yoite had never hurt him and Yukimi knew that he wouldn't dream of this boy ever doing so. He knew what Kira was and that some times everything about it can go wrong but... Yoite would never hurt him deliberately. He believed in him.

"Here, lemonade." he smiled sadly and handed the hot cup to his fellow roommate, knowing that even if that was what he wanted to say from the bottom of his heart, he knew he couldn't. He had orders to follow and he knew that if Yoite got too attached he would end up wanting to leave the Kairoushuu, and then they would ether kill the boy, or hurt him something terribly... so instead the words he hated slipped out, just as easily as running water. "You just need to do what you're told."

But seeing the life almost disappear form those perfectly blue eyes he sighed and smiled again. "Whether you're alive or dead, my door is open for you. You can always come back here and just use this place for shelter when it rains." Feeling moved by his own words he quickly turned away as hot blood rushed to his face, colouring his cheeks pink. "Well, back to work."

The boy turned his head a little as Yukimi walked back to his chair, both of them taking a sip from the hot liquid. "You disgust me" Yoite suddenly said with clear voice and Yukimi looked back at him in surprise.

"What?" he said, unable to really understand the situation. What had he said that was so wrong now all of a sudden? Shaking his head, still looking at the raven boy he sighed. "Brats are so annoying..." He grew silent, stuck with his eyes on that handsome, boyish face. Yoite had partly turned his head away, now looking down into his cup with lemonade and Yukimi couldn't take his eyes of those prefect lips... even though it was partly hidden by one of those black bangs, and even though it was so small Yukimi almost couldn't see it from this distance, there was a smile lingering on Yoite's lips...filling the blond man with such warmth he had to put the cup aside for a moment, just looking at that beautiful sight.

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**Well? was this chappie any good? or was the first one better? :P please review and tell me what you think :D more shounen ai/yaoi coming up in the next one ;) thanks for reading!**


	3. Love

**Okay there is a lot going on in this chapter and I hope it is not too confusing x3 please tell me if it is... This chappie is mostly about Yukimi as before but also about Raiko, Gau and a bit from Yoite's pov as well :) enjoy**

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"Yukimi"

There was a soft voice whispering his name ever so sweetly into his ear, sending shivers of pleasure down his spine, giving him goosebumps all over his body as he felt the warmth from another moving against him, slowly, gently, lovingly. His breath was quicker than usual, his pulse pounding in his wrists and his eyes searching for those lagoon-blue eyes, searching for him in the darkness of the room.

"Yoite.." he whispered back, finally able to speak again, seeing through the dim morning light how the boy atop him was smiling again, so pure, so warm, so beautiful. Yukimi slowly breathed in, bathing in the young mans fragrance with eternal happiness on his mind. Those warm fingers softly unbuttoned his shirt, touching his skin so smoothly it made the blond's entire body tingle with desire. With some force he got himself together, grabbing those slim fingers with his hands, closing his fingers around them, sitting up with grace as the raven haired boy smiled, ever so angelic, as dazzling as the sun, and as beautiful as the moonlight pouring in on them, making the boy's skin seem even more fragile than normal. Slowly Yoite laid down, pulling the blond man atop himself, wrapping his slim, naked legs around his waist, looking up at him with those eyes that made the writer drown in an instant. Yukimi felt his heart was being pulled closer as the minutes of gentle touching passed, kissing down on that fragile skin with his lips, gently searching for the boy's weak spots, gently ravishing a pink nipple with his tongue, feeling his longing grow with every delicate moan slipping from his room-mates lips.

"Y-Yukimi.." the raven haired moaned, a sound so different from his screams of pain that it made Yukimi go wild in the matter of seconds. Fighting with himself, he managed to calm down but it took all his strength and when he looked up again he saw clearly all the desire locked within those eyes. He shivered once again, his hand slipping slowly downward over the young man's torso, over his small waist and even further, wrapping itself around the boy's already hardened state. Yoite gasped as pleasure threatened to overtake him, his face now flushed with a soft blush, his fingers gripping the pillow below his head, his hips thrusting into the little friction he was given from Yukimi's softly stroking fingertips.

"Yoite..." he whispered once again, sending the young one over the edge, moaning wantonly, curling his toes into the mattress with his eyes shut tight, his fingers now pulling on Yukimi's blond locks, yanking him up from where he was seated, meeting his lips desperately with his own. Yukimi wasn't prepared for this sudden movement but smirked slightly and softly stroked that tempting bottom lip, demanding entrance which was granted immediately. Yoite's lips parted and their tongues met, ravishing, exploring and battling softly, both men moaning with unsatisfied pleasure...

"beeeep! beeeep! beeeeeeeeep!"

Yukimi moaned and pulled his pillow over his head like always in the mornings. He didn't want to get up just yet. He wanted to stay in that dream where he and Yoite had... He sat up quickly, staring in front of him with wide eyes, not even hearing the alarm going off again. What had he been dreaming?! The images were still clear before him as if the had actually been real and, judging from the bundle that was visible from under his sheets at least his body had imagined them to be real. He shook his head in a desperate attempt to clean his head and get rid of the dreams that were playing over and over, making it hurt even more from his aching need. 'Oh please..' he thought, suddenly feeling tears water his eyes. 'Why am I thinking like this now all of a sudden?!' Yoite was dying!! Why the hell... was the only thing he could think about how he wanted that man to be his and only his...?

***

"Raikou, you have to help me!" the blond man whined, hitting his forehead hard against the back support of the chair he had mounted backwards. The pink haired man looked up from his book with a shocked expression in his brown eyes. They had been sitting at Raikou's room for about half an hour, Yukimi waiting for some news about Yoite that had once again had run of somewhere with that Shinrabanshou brat, and Raikou waiting for news about his newly found helper Gau who seemed to have locked himself into a toilet. Raiko was too amused to help him out, and the boy was too proud to ask for help. Yukimi now hid his face in the palm of his hand, sighing like his heart was breaking into a million peaces and even Raikou grew worried. He knew that Yoite was a big problem to his friend, and he also knew that Yukimi was far more emotionally involved in this than he even knew himself.

"What's wrong, Yukimi-san..?" he asked and stood up from the small sofa he had been sitting on, walking over to his friend and putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "If it's about Yoite-kun, I'm sure he'll turn up again soon." he smiled as he said it, knowing that it was probably true but it might not be much comfort since the boy would be gone soon any way... which was a horrible thought, especially for Yukimi.

"It's not that.." Yukimi sighed again and shook his head, leaning into the soft touch of his friend just to get his mind off the terrible headache he was experiencing. Raikou bent to his knees in front of his friend and bit his lip as he always did when worrying, trying to capture Yukimi's gaze but it was pointless. Instead he ruffled his hair softly before speaking again.

"Yukimi-san..." he said in his own calm way that always made the blond man feel safe and secure, but of course only Raiko knew that, him being able to read his blond friend better than any one else. "I know you have been troubled for a while and I won't pretend to know why but... can you please tell me?" Yukimi looked up, his eyes looking straight through those brown ones, his gaze so intense Raiko shivered, knowing that there was not many things that could make emotions like these show through those blue-green eyes.

"I have had dreams..." Yukimi begun. "...about Yoite..."

"About Yoite-kun?" Raikou looked at him with big, surprised eyes. Yukimi could see he was even more worried now and he half regretted even saying anything about the matter. He knew however that it was better if Raikou knew... anyways.

"Yes..." he answered silently, sighing as he looked down at the floor. "...for almost a week now."

"What kind of dreams, Yukimi-san?"

Yukimi bit his lip, he was torn between crying and blushing. Knowing that if he said it out loud it would become reality, knowing that he would cry if he did, that he would blush if he did and knowing inside his heart that Raikou would never stop worrying if he said it... Still he blinked slowly, once again looking up at his friend, feeling that warm hand still lingering on his shoulder, somewhat comforting, he thought.

"That I... love him..."

***

He sighed and slowly put his toothbrush back in the cup on the washbowl, watching his reflection in the mirror, only to see a tired, sad face so he turned away. He had looked for Yoite all day, but of course, he had told every one else he was looking for the Engetsurin, and eventually found him at some woman's place and then dropped his track again. He had been so pissed he had gone after that teacher Thobari and all of a sudden... everything had happened so quickly. For some reason Yoite had been there, using his Kira, not against Thobari but against him. Yukimi had been so shocked he had no idea what to do and almost got his ass whipped as a side effect. But as Yoite had tried to push Yukimi up the wall, he had stumbled and Yukimi had backhanded him... he could hardly remember what happened after that.

He knew though that he had realized all too late, and Yoite had coughed blood all over the wall and that the boy was moaning in pain. He knew the boy had not much time left now and he knew he wasn't supposed to hurt him even more, but still...! He was so confused... did Yoite hate him now? He was always with that boy Miharu, always gone when Yukimi needed him, always out somewhere returning late if he even did come back at all. What was he thinking?! He should be inside resting! He should be at home, where he and Kazuho could be able to take care of him. Yoite wouldn't live forever... soon, he wouldn't live at all, and the thought was so painful it brought water to his eyes and he didn't even bother to brush it away as he crawled underneath the sheets, hoping desperately that Yoite would be there in the morning.

It was almost as if he wished for those dreams to take him into that sweet place he had told Raikou about, the place where Yoite wasn't sick at all, where he wasn't dying, a place where Yoite was happy... even though there was only the two of them.

He fell asleep quickly after that, though he had wanted to go out and look for the raven boy again. There was a wound on his heart and it would just not go away, not now, nor ever. He fell asleep even though he tried to stay awake. He wanted to hear the sound of Yoite coming home, he wanted to be sure he was okay, he wanted... Yoite. Sleep overtook him, so fast he could not even try to fight against it.

"Yukimi."

The blond man slowly opened his eyes, knowing, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he had heard the door close some minutes ago. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, turning slowly towards the door and peeked against the bright light. "Yoite..?" There was no answer like always and he sighed, sitting up slightly, watching the boy with his green-blue eyes, trying to see anything other than his profile but the light behind him was too bright. "What is it..? Did something happen?" The boy shook his head slowly, watching the floor with his shining sky blue eyes, those two spots of colour being the only thing Yukimi could see at all. He sighed again, scratching his neck, wondering if he was supposed to go up or if the boy only came in to check if he was there. Somehow this felt so familiar... Yukimi smiled and looked down into his lap. Another dream? Of course it was.

"I'm sorry... Yukimi."

Yukimi widened his eyes a little, first not realizing what the boy was apologizing for, then remembering what had happened earlier, and he sighed once again, shaking his head softly. "You are forgiven." he said calmly, wondering why Yoite had become so aware he had felt hurt. "It's not like you could help it after all..." he knew the last part was only because he was still feeling bad about it, and he could have just kept quiet, because as soon as the words left his lips he noticed how the boy in the doorway seemed to draw further away from him.

Yukimi sat up more and reached his hand out for his friend, smiling softly almost as if he was apologizing too. "Come here Yoite." The younger man hesitated but then took some steps closer, removing the cap and putting it aside on the drawer right next to the door, coming even closer until he finally reached back and took Yukimi's hand softly with his gloved fingers, even though he looked confused. Yukimi just smiled, knowing this was the first time in a while they had actually been alone together. "You have nothing to be sorry for Yoite" The raven boy nodded a little and bit his lip, to Yukimi's slight sadness he then let his hand go and turned away again.

"Good night then... Yukimi"

"Good night, Yoite"

The boy left him in silence once again and Yukimi, who had been so sure that it was another of his dreams had started to wonder if that was really the case. He watched as the door closed again behind the youth and felt the heavy pressure over his heart that he always felt when he saw the boy walk away from him. A thousand questions swarmed through his head and he looked back down at his hands. Was he ever going to have time to get to know the true Yoite? Was he ever going to see him again? Was there any guarantee that the boy was even there when he woke up the next morning or worse... would he already be dead? He slowly sank back against the pillow, his head growing numb with pain as he was drifting back into sleep. He was so worried...

"Yukimi."

He didn't wake up this time, not as much as he had done the time before, now telling himself that this was just his imagination or a dream. He turned his head towards where the sweet sound of Yoite's voice had come from and nodded, encouraging the boy to speak up. Yoite took some steps into the room, dressed in nothing but his underwear and the big sweater he had gotten from Yukimi to sleep in, Yukimi had his eyes still half lidded and, still thinking of this as a dream he stretched out his hand.

"Can I sleep in here with you..?" the boy whispered and a slight smile spread over Yukimi's face, brightening the room even though it was obvious he was still sleeping. Yoite hesitated, though Yukimi would probably not get _too _mad even if he slept there, so he slowly crawled underneath the sheets, warming his cold feet against the blond man's warm legs. Yukimi shivered and opened his eyes a little more, eyeing the youth before smiling brighter.

"Hi Yoite."

"Hi Yukimi."

"Welcome back..." the bond man said, and his smile was so irresistible Yoite felt the corner of his mouth not being able to hold back a smile too. He slowly moved closer, being so cold he was practically freezing to death, so he pulled one of Yukimi's strong arms around his own torso, borrowing all the warmth he could. He knew the man would be shocked when he woke up the next morning, but somehow he didn't even care any more, because he needed and wanted this, to sleep beside Yukimi. So warm...

"Thank you... Yukimi."

Yukimi was only half aware of what was happening at that moment, because even though he wasn't really sleeping, he wasn't fully awake either. He felt the soft touch of the young body, its slender back slightly against his torso and he felt the coldness of it, distantly wondering why the boy was so cold. He felt how cold hands wrapped his own arms around that small chest and he sighed contentedly, slowly pressing the delicate boy closer to his strong abdomen, warming him with every inch of his wanting body. A strange dream, he thought as he pulled the covers over them both for the first time ever. All the other times he had dreamt of Yoite to be warm and inescapably willing to sleep with him but now… they were lying tightly together, yes, but there wasn't even a thought of wanting to take the boy on his mind, as Yukimi was content just with lying like this. Well, yes, he wanted him, so desperately as in every other wet dream he had had about the boy, but it was with a smile on his face that Yukimi finally sank all the way into sleep, knowing that no matter how much he desired this boy, this was the way he wanted him for real: just lying there, loving him.

***

Shimizu Raikou had had a quiet morning, first taking a well earned shower then sitting himself by the table with his morning tea and a newspaper, not reading it, though, just watching the birds play outside the window. He saw them happily fly around or... maybe not happily; the weather was freezing and there was no food left for them to find. Raikou smiled a little, standing up in his silken blue robe and walked over to the counter to prepare some bread for them.

Raikou was a kind man inside, a samurai of death yes but very warm-hearted indeed. He had been living in this apartment for a couple of months now and every one in the building already knew his name. He was the kind of man who would help the landlady take out her garbage and play with the kids on the street outside. All the women in the house adored him and if their men did not, they at least came to him if in trouble. All of them in the belief he was homosexual, of course, but that did not bother him. Well… maybe the one time when the husband of his neighbour came over in a slight pinch indeed, wanting Raikou to give him a blowjob in exchange for money. That had given the fair man nightmares and many sleepless nights.

Now he was standing there by his window, spreading breadcrumbs all over the little shelve outside, the birds almost eating the bread of his fingers. He smiled wider, knowing that even though this was a small gesture and even though he wouldn't be able to change the world with only feeding the birds, he still felt a bit better, knowing that at least these ones did not starve today. After finishing he closed the window properly and turned back to his tea with the smile still lingering. This might be a good day after all.

There was a sudden knock on the door which made the young samurai look up from his long desired cup, thinking for a second who it could be knocking on his door this early in the morning before once again standing up and walking to open it. He listened at the door, hearing someone panting out of breath. "Who is it..?" he asked, smiling, slightly amused at the scene. It was funny that someone was sounding so absurdly horny outside his door at seven in the morning.

"Raikou-san it's me!" called his young pupil and yet another smile broke out on Raikou's curved lips. Had the boy not even learned you had to say your name when introducing your self? If you just said "it's me" then you could be any one, especially when he was calling through the door and it was hard to hear his voice. Raikou opened slowly but just a crack, peeking out at the handsome youth with his brown eyes shining with amusement.

"You never learn do you Gau?" he said and let the anxious boy inside.

"Well, neither do you Raikou-san."

"Eh? What do you mean by that?" Raikou felt confused, to say the least. It looked like the boy had been running all the way to the apartment and for some reason he had not had the time to bring his own key. The young, dark-haired boy did not seem scared, however ,which was something good, since the boy was always scared when danger was near. Raikou picked his cup with tea up again, sitting down on the chair with the grace of an angel before looking back at his helper. "Well..?"

Gau gave up a mischievous smile as his breath had calmed and sank down on another chair himself. "You forgot your cell phone at my place again Raikou-san" Raikou could clearly see the smirk on the boy's lips and smirked himself, reaching for the phone the boy was holding out, sighing and shaking his head in amusement.

"And you ran all the way here to give it back to me even though we were gonna meet later today?" He saw, to his pleasure, that the boy had blushed, his cheeks going bright red and he quickly turned his face away, Raikou smirking back at him. "Did you want to see me that badly?" The boy hesitated then just nodded with his head still turned to the side. Raikou felt his smirk melting into a tender smile, his heart fluttering with joy at the knowledge of his dearest pupil's love.

"Well, there you are" he mumbled, pushing the phone into Raikou's hands, too embarrassed to look up, and blushing so much he just wanted to run out the door. Why was he always so shy when this happened? But Raikou just smiled that beautiful smile of his and took the phone, keeping his slimmed fingers softly wrapped around Gau's fingertips.

"I'm grateful." he said as softly as only he could and Gau blushed even more, if that was even possible.

"Don't mention it… Raikou…san"

As soon as Raikou opened his mouth to say something more the phone suddenly rang in his hands, scaring both of them out of their fluffy, pink moment. They both stared at it, hearing the ringtone echo through the apartment for what seemed like hours before Raikou finally answered.

"Shimizu Raikou" he answered, Gau biting his lip, still a bit scared from the sudden sound and still embarrassed about blushing like that in front of Raikou of all people..

"Raikou!" he heard Yukimi's stressed voice and he felt the surprise literally take him over. Yukimi never called him like this.

"Yes, what is it?" He asked, prepared for the worst as Yukimi sounded so… frightened? "Is it Yoite?"

"Yes..." the man's voice was so upset Raikou felt his stomach clench immediately. "It... I don't know how it happened..."

"Yukimi" he said without any suffix on the end, and he didn't even care. He knew how important that boy was to his friend and how much he cared about him. He knew Yukimi wasn't supposed to care this much about a Kira, no one should, since the Kira users were bound to a short life with nothing but pain and death in their path, angels of death... Raikou looked at Gau, knowing exactly how Yukimi felt about Yoite, because that was what he felt for the boy now standing there in front of him with a worried wrinkle on his forehead. Raikou had started caring about Yoite too, of course, and Gau worried as well, even though he was too proud to ever show it. "Tell me what happened, Yukimi.." The man on the other end of the line sighed as if to calm his nerves then spoke again.

"I woke up this morning... like... ten minutes ago... and..." he grew silent. The expression in his voice was unreadable and that scared Raikou even more. His friend sounded so confused... he was never like that.

"And what, Yukimi?"

"He was... Yoite was..."

The cold air streaming in through the window gave Raiko chills with fear as he listened intensively for the words he had been dreading all these months... was he really... dead?

"He was lying in my bed!" Yukimi suddenly spat and the young samurai widened his eyes in surprise. Had he heard him correctly? In his bed? "I thought I was dreaming first and then I suddenly realized I was spooning him and I just.. flipped!"

"Yukimi calm down, was that it..? He is okay?"

"Well of course he's okay Raikou! He's been sleeping with me all night!" Yukimi answered and Raikou could hear how he was pacing around the room, feeling a smile spread across his lips again as relief overtook him. He shook his head and smiled towards Gau too to reassure him everything was okay.

"Yukimi, calm yourself." he hushed nicely, not being able to hide his smile in his voice. "I thought he had.. you know... oh come on Yukimi-san, wasn't this what you wanted all along?" Raikou could hear to his amusement how Yukimi tried to defend himself but the only thing you could hear was irritated mumbles. "I mean all these dreams..." the samurai laughed. "...it was quite obvious what you wanted"

"I did not! I mean... well..." Yukimi sighed in confusion and Raikou's heart melted for him. He felt with his friend of course and since he knew the feeling... well not really, but he knew that type of feeling, and he knew how hard it must be. He looked at Gau again, even in this moment feeling his heart flutter inside his chest like a butterfly when he met the youth's eyes.

"Yukimi... It's okay, you know I won't judge you."

"I know that, Raikou." the blond man sighed and a sound like someone plopping down on a sofa was heard through the microphone. "I just.. feel so lost whe ever he looks at me like that... Whenever he is near my mind starts to spin, and every time he is out with that.. that brat! ...I can't control my jealousy.. I know I shouldn't and still I hope that the Shinrabanshou will be able to help him... because I want him here with me."

Raikou nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. "Then I'll hope that as well, for both Yoite-kun's and your sake" He met Gau's eyes and the curly haired boy nodded, Raikou adding: "And so does Gau."

"Thank you Raikou. I just... wasn't prepared for this and.. it sort of scared me 'cause you know how I get when I'm... you know.."

"No..?"

"...When I get turned on. I didn't want him to notice so I just ran out of the room as fast as I could."

"So he did turn you on, then?" Raikou said and couldn't hold back a giggle, seeing how Gau reacted to that. Yukimi cursed fast and Raikou was sure he was now blushing like never before.

"Well of course he did.... I love him, after all."

***

'Love...' The young man thought to himself, pulling the silky fabric tighter around his body that had now turned cold since Yukimi had left him in the bed so abruptly. He softly stroked the pillow, which Yukimi had been resting his head on, making all kinds of shapes in his imagination. 'Love... what is that...' He sighed, even though he was almost entirely unaware of it himself, blinking slowly as he listened to the conversation Yukimi was having with his friend. What was love..? Why did people love...? "Yukimi..." he said silently so that the man wouldn't hear he was awake, closing his eyes again, wrapping himself in the other man's scent. It was intoxicating to him, lying there, hearing Yukimi's soft voice as Raikou got him to laugh again. He loved Yukimi's laugh... loved...

"Yukimi..."

* * *

**Please review and tell me what you think :) Next chapter might be a bit more "angst" so be prepared ^^' haven't written it yet though but I have my plans :) see you soon**


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